Visual Irony Seeker Pillows

"I thought this was the Vermeer tour."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

"Barry stop!. . . I'm you! I'm Barry from 2008. I'm using a time machine to stop you from making an awful mistake!"

The Red Carpet

'My horoscope said I would be taking a long trip today.'

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

Eurydice in prison

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

'We need to panic until common sense returns.'

"I always said I'd sleep when I'm dead, and yet here I am doing paperwork."

"Beware of dog"

Lost and found - 'Can you desribe it?' (Queen being asked having lost her crown).

Local anaesthetic.

'I thought my people were happy, I know I was.

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

"They found culturally insensitive products in my kitchen."

Cautious photojournalist.

...I'm here at the gruesome scene now. Yes, what began as a candlelight vigil,ended in mass tragedy when the thousands of moths in attendance became inexplicably drawn to each other's flames.

'I see we'll be sampling the wines of New Jersey this evening.'

'I get to work early and all I get are the worms.'

Greeting Card Shop: No Rhyme or Reason Cards.

'We transformed our lives for the better.'

'Try rebooting.'

Spam on the Menu at Internet Cafe.