Visual Comedy Fans Gifts

Giant to librarian: 'Excuse me, do you have a large print version?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Shampoo.

"That'll be five bucks."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

Cat with Nine Still Lives

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Caricatures $20"

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Standard & Poor

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

Yakety-Yak

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'