Visiting A Fertility Clinic T-Shirts

'Don't take this the wrong way, but these pills you have to take come in a child-proof bottle.'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

IVF assessment centre.

Pregnancy Test

"So, how long have you been trying?"

Three Parent Baby

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Fertility Center.

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'Last one in is a rotten egg.'

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

Science and mothers day

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

'I'm sorry to inform you, Mrs. Cottontail, you're out of eggs.'

"Great news! Your sperm count is dangerously low!"

Minority Group Access To Assisted Reproduction.

'It's not about winning, it's about having fun!'

"I do hope you've got enough for a sample, Mr Furse."