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Old MacDonald Had An Optometrist

Dog wearing a cone

Hospital Departments

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

'Doctor, I think he knows where he is.'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Zika Epidemic

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

"So, did Little Red Riding Hood have really bad eyesight or something?"

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

'I've gotten over my fear of tests, but now I seem to have developed studying anxiety.'

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

'Cliff! Cliff!.. Where are you Cliff?'

"Well, Mr. Swanson, I don't know that I can help you improve your standing in your focus group, but I can definitely check out your visual focus."

Guide dog looks at ball that has gone over wall.

'The fee? Well, let's give the old wheel a spin and see what comes up!'

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

' ... and I'd suggest you spend less time surfing the web.'

'Yes, normally, carrots are good for you eyes, but in your case they only increase your sense of smell.'

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...

"I'm sure this is an interesting story."

"Worms."

Sight test with a violin.

"Everything I see looks like a website captcha. I'm either having vision problems, or I'm spending too much time online."

The Seeing-Eye Squirrel

Cyclops reading an eye chart

"It's your ear, nose, and throat."

'See what I mean? Your eyesight's fine, you just don't look very good.'