Virus Detective Gifts

'Biggest damn virus I've ever seen!'

"Biggest damn virus I've ever seen."

"There's a rumor that someone in the company is spreading a virus."

Alien observes Earth: A giant virus molecule.

'This is Heather in HR. I think that my computer has a bird flu virus.''

'We're in luck. The new virus is highly contagious...and so is the antibody.'

Strainspotting

Omicron

"Oh, sure! Blame the monkey!"

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

Disease Management

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

Alternative Medicine

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

The new Physics

Covid Lab Theory

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Covid Music

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

Centers for Disease Control. Staff Picks. Jean. Rob. Carly. Ed. Sonia. Kim.

Lyme Disease Research Lab

AEDES: Serial Killer - Zika, Dengue, Fiebre Amarilla, Chikungunya.

"To save you from destruction I will now wipe out mankind!"

R. Gillespie, M.D., specialist in whatever disease is hot at the moment.

Flu Vaccine.

"Why ‘Black Death’? Why not ‘Furry Death’?"

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"