Virtual Wit Prints

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Snowprov

Backfire

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Doggone

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Miss America IQ Pageant

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Czarcasm

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

Aladdin conjures up a virtual genie.

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

'He never listened to his mother!'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'I don't do 'Goodbyes' ...'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

Paper Boy

'The tests indicate you've been exposed to a new idea.'

On second thought, your honor

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

'Always the wise guy.'

Conference Room. I don't have the heart to tell him it wasn't a compliment when the boss said "in every brainstorming session Ernie is a ray of sunshine."

To begin, click on the bread crumb icon.

"She can be outspoken."

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."

Death Watch