Virtual Gift Enthusiast Pillows

I bought you an iTunes gift card. Why would you do that? It's a peace offering. Ok, where is it? It's digital. I set up an email account for you, and sent it there. Now you can download content. You made me a virtual address, and sent an intangible gift to it, that'll let me download things I can never even touch? What kind of lazy @#$% gift is that? What happened to giving people something you picked out for them, that they can touch and caress, and re-gift as they mock your bad taste behind yo

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

CEO.

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"Shouldn't have, you really."

Captionless: A fisherman is handed his bobbin and fishing hook by a octopus

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

I love you Geyser...

"Read the card! Read the card!"

The Re-Giving Tree

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

Christmas Dwarves

Giant sandwich bags.

A pianist uses a frog as a page turner.

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

"I'm lost. Also, I accidentally unplugged something."

Hunter hits duck with ejected shell.

So what else did you get for your birthday?

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'We tried everything...I'm afraid your husband's going to be a human.'

"Honey - this is soooo special!"

Modern Day Cannibals

The AdRams Family no.29 - New Pentium Cow Processor

"I didn't mind that his Valentine was a e-card. The big letdown was getting the box of e-chocolates."

'It's my stool sample.'

"Hey look! It perfectly matches the virtual pot plant I gave you last year!"

Great Moments in Beer

Girl who has been bought an oversized chatelaine large household items hanging from it

'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'

'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'

"Violets are blue Roses are red Enjoy the dead mouse I hid in your bed"