Vip Admirer Gifts

The Great and the Good.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

Shhh – I'm taking a virtual nap.

"The fancy dress store ran out of crutches."

Candy Corn Dracula

New York Gondolier

"Ok, it got weird while you were a wolf."

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

Madonna

'I caught this one while fishing off of a bridge in Venice.'

'What would you say about me having my spots enlarged?'

Heaven Has VIP

Pearly Gates Queue

It was an expensive treatment, but it feels so good to be barnacle-free...

"So you see, even greed has its rewards."

Deaf in Venice

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

"So, our daughter tells us you work in a blood bank."

Vanity Ward - 'Cosmetic surgery.'

"Usually we wouldn't let you in the sanctuary dressed in robe and sandals, but seeing as you are Jesus we will make an exception..."

Celebrity Gold

Venus in venice

Gondola with a tip bucket and sign reading 'Please do not tip'.

'This dude is seriously lost.'

Snail Red Carpet

'You and your brilliant 'Let's hitchhike through Venice' idea.'

"No need to bust a gut, sir, this is a celebrity gym. . . I'll get someone to come over and touch those toes for you."

Man rolls out the red carpet for Santa Claus.

'Well, somebody's got to fluff my wig.'

How am I supposed to convince people to join our new loyalty rewards program for $9.95 a month? The program doesn't offer any actual rewards. The key to these programs is they make people feel special. Watch. Would you like to join our exclusive VIP Premier Exclusive Best Customer Reward Program? Or would you rather feel left out and scorned as a loser? Impossible dilemma.

'Mind a little constructive criticism?'

"You must excuse my husband, he's a practising egomaniac..."

Casanova's postman dreaded Valentine's Day.