Vinyl Spinning Sage T-Shirts

An old man wearing a band t-shirt

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

Dog stretching before a walk.

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

"You know what burns me up? I deliberately kept my life uneventful, and I got old anyway."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"Or we could go to the exhibition chronicling in depth, the development of the hip hop scene..."

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'This course is a great ego builder.'

"My stupid yoga mat is broken!"

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

Jesus Saves

"If you don't want to know the score..."

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

'We do not tee off in front of the markers.' - 'This is my second stroke.'

Music in Space.

'Stop! Listen to me! Size matters!!'

"I find the ride goes a lot quicker when you have someone to try to convert."

'Now you have that invisible fence you've been wanting.'