Vintage Humor Buff Pillows

Mr. Toots becomes particular - Diogenes also

'Why do you wear a rug when you have such beautiful hardwood flooring underneath?'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

Early on-line shopping

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

Nanki Poo

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

The Enemy

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

A man selling a horse to an older lady

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses