Vigilant Parent T-Shirts

"I made this one a mom because she has two eyes behind her head."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

First Steps

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Dating The Daughter Of A Hockey Goalie

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

License, registration, and some I.D. for the small child watching what appears to be a completely inappropriate PG-13 movie in the back.

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

"What did you learn in school today that I'd object to?"

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

"My mom says you can sleep on the top bunk if your parents will sign a release form."

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'