Veterinary Joke Fan Prints

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory'

Dog forced to return bone

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

Hypochondria Hospital

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

'Where does it hurt?'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

'If you had asked me I could have TOLD you that he bites.'

'Sure you can have another opinion but I still say you are a fat pig.'

'Forget those itch creams, do what I do, just put your butt down on the carpet and scoot around the room.'

'The good news is that you look good. The bad news is that you're not as good as you look.'

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

I like a lot of witnesses around.

Of course you're feeling disgruntled. You've lost your voice.

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

"The good news is, the side effects of your nut allergy aren't really dangerous."

'Will the results of this probe be sent to my gastroenterologist?'

Tinnitus.

'Hey, what do you want from me? As a primary care physician, ALL I DO is prescribe drugs and refer you to specialists.'

"Your sodium level is high...probably from taking everything you hear with a grain of salt!"

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

Casey's Veterinarian Clinic and Taxidermy 'Either way you'll get your pet back.'

'Don't worry, it's just the anaesthetic...'

'...windpuffs in front and a capped hock on the right rear...'

'I'm Mrs, Fenwick,,,you know, Fenwick's Pet Hospital,,,'

'We may as well make use of you.'

'Good grief. I think your body rejected your cornea transplant.'

"I'm afraid someone drank your sample."

'I see that somebody grabbed the bull by the horns.'

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"