Veterinary Humorists Pillows

'Sure you can have another opinion but I still say you are a fat pig.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Ice Cream Surgeon

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

Vlad the Inhaler

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

Hats and Food

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Scuba cow"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'Jurassic Pork.'

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'