Veterans Affairs Personnel Gifts

Robert Wilkie

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"This never happened."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"Fill it up!"

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

Dog Park Zoom

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

Dog with toilet IV

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'I always take what he says with a grain of salt...

'Son...old soldiers don't die...they just get medal fatigue.'

Fairy Vet

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

'Doctor, I think he knows where he is.'

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

I can't afford to pay for Fluffy's spay...

"I really appreciate this."

Vets: 'That's funny, he was here a minute ago.'

John McCain, pre-RIP

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

'Now, just repeat the injections three times daily and avoid any stress.'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

'You see?! These cones may keep us from licking ourselves, but they really enhance our sense of smell.'

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

'Vet clinic? I'd like to make an appointment for a physical. It's been seven years.'