Verbal Faux Pas Appreciator T-Shirts

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

The Return Of The Minipants

"Cat with nine still lives"

"Here's your sweater back."

Dog steals a cricket ball.

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

Good Kitty No More.

BEWARE! Cheshire snake in the grass!

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

Fifty Gallon Head.

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"You might consider new socks as well."

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

Greeting Card Shop: No Rhyme or Reason Cards.

"What? I slept seven months."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

"Man's best friend with benefits"

Ego Publishing: 'I'm sorry, but 'Slither A Mile In My Shoes' doesn't make any sense...'

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

Secateurs and non-secateurs

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"Good Lord! He picked the salad fork!"

Cat eyes up a hard looking mouse from behind a pillar

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."