Venom Entrepreneur T-Shirts

'Is it true? You've been selling your venom to pharmaceutical companies to make anti-venom? Traitor!'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"States of tofu"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

'Most of my clients are shareholders, managers and sales executives.'

Your start-up team

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"I'm going on Dragons Den with this, the one-brush-toothbrush."

Start up

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

"After thoroughly researching all the details, I think we can now safely throw caution to the wind..."

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

"Yes, but...will it scale?"

"Before we start planning our next brilliant foray into the global economy, I suggest we first figure out how we're going to pay our local electric bill!"

"Fire is going to be the new content."

"Alrighty, we've got three Tofu Pad Thais, four Green Curry Lunch Specials, side of Veggie Dumplings, and three Summer Rolls with Peanut Dipping Sauce."

'That IS the chef's surprise, sir -- the pork chops are really tofu.'

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"

Vegan Insomnia

'Seven companies in three years.'

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

Woolly tofu.

"I'm an entrepreneur."

"So. . . how did our first-stage financing go today?"

"It's the perfect online start-up. We'll sell bricks and mortar."

"Today a protest at the White House..."

"My business plan? Well, all my friends are addicted, so if I can get access to potatoes and set up a deep fryer, I'll be rich!"