Veggie Ponderers Gifts

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

baby sweetcorn...

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

'I don't think Marmaduke has ever seen a vegetarian before.'

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

'What do you say we become vegetarians?'

'May I strongly suggest the soy burger?'

'When Mom said you should eat a lot of green stuff, I don't think she meant grasshoppers.'

"Suddenly the idea of becoming a vegetarian sounds very romantic."

"But is it Organic?"

Where we get veggie burgers

'Ha! I knew they were just little trees!'

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

"As requested, we're going to go over you retirement fund, so, if at all possible, let's hold questions until I have finished and I'm out in the parking lot starting my car."

"You know, lentils have twice as much protein per serving."

'I think you got carried away with the whole five portions of fruit and veg thing.'

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

The food was nice...but something was missing.

"It makes me feel sort of... guilty!"

'Okay, who spilled the beans to that Darwin guy?'

-I once dreamed about carrots and peas,and then bet on two horses the next day called carrots and peas. Guess who won? -Who? -An outsider called mixed vegetables.

"It used to be called pensions."

"Oh, that's the problem - it was unplugged the whole time!"