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The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

"Relax. They're just crows."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

You will always find a spot to garden

"Potatoes...betroot...carrots...fracking..."

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'I'm sorry but I can't bring out the dessert menu until both of you have eaten your veggies, company policy.'

"So I can eat better here at work."

The Confused Gardener

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

I've got lettuce, snow peas and radishes planted. Seeds. Next I'll plant beans, zucchini, leeks and chard. Plus tomatoes and basil. A lot of work for stuff no one wants to eat.

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

"If you don't have time to take care of everything, Sir, Mom's vegetable garden would be a good thing to let go."

'Are these carrots organically grown?'

"No, there's nothing wrong. I just took a shortcut through the onions."

Weod Monath (Weed Month) The Saxon word for the month of August.

"The fence keeps the Locavores out."

'I'm afraid I'll have to close you down. Your kitchen is infested with greenfly.'

'I was hoping it was going to be bigger, but I'm still new to gardening.'

"No, I'm not interested in your list of endangered vegetables. Just eat your dinner."

'You're a real cabbage patch doll! Lettuce introduce ourselves!'

"Dad - there's some people at the door from 'The Sprout Defence League...?'"

The cost of home grown vegetables

Vegetarian Nightmare

"I hate guarding potatoes with all those eyes staring at me!"

Carrot sign growing in ground

"All you plant-loving sissies can leave the room while we show you some big, juicy hamburgers!"

Man labouring over vegetable patch

Organic Crime