Veggie Hider Gifts

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"I have an idea. How about I don't have to eat broccoli until I learn how to spell it."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'Now, now...no stealing people's data until you finish your brussels sprouts.'

'That chap really knows his onions!'

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

'I'm sorry but I can't bring out the dessert menu until both of you have eaten your veggies, company policy.'

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

"I'm sorry but I can't bring the dessert menu until you at least try to finish your peas and carrots, it's policy."

"It's not fair that ice cream melts, but broccoli doesn't."

Eat your vegetables

'You wish, Timmy.'

'What do you mean I have to eat more greens? I eat pistachio ice cream every night.'

'No, we wouldn't want to ask God's blessing on something evil, but carrots aren't evil.'

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

'The salad is that expensive because we had to find a new place for the snails and worms.'

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

'Stephen's down on the allotment, gathering in nature's bounty.'

Still life?