Vegetable Critic Mugs

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

6 Brothers Falafel

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Allotment

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Rump roast?"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

View to the Future

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Needs salt!'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."