Veg-trickster Pillows

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

Candid Camera store.

Some card-game puns

Primitive magician

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Yoyo sheep

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Magic Tricks

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Magic Tricks

A dog has inflated the family cats with helium and they are floating on the roof.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

He'd attended Julliard and done Shakespeare in the park, and he never thought he'd sink this low, but there were bills to pay, and there weren't that many jobs out there for a bottle of seltzer water.'

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

"Mom, that magic kit you got me for my birthday, we may have a problem."

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'As you can see, nothing up my sleeves...'

"I love this ghost costume because it covers this costume. I remove it and go back for seconds!"

"There's nothing magical about if, actually I just have a knack for this sort of thing."

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'