Veg-trickster Pillows

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Candid Camera store.

Some card-game puns

Primitive magician

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

Yoyo sheep

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

Magic Tricks

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Magic Tricks

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

A dog has inflated the family cats with helium and they are floating on the roof.

"Mom, that magic kit you got me for my birthday, we may have a problem."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

He'd attended Julliard and done Shakespeare in the park, and he never thought he'd sink this low, but there were bills to pay, and there weren't that many jobs out there for a bottle of seltzer water.'

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

"I love this ghost costume because it covers this costume. I remove it and go back for seconds!"

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'As you can see, nothing up my sleeves...'