Vanilla Lover T-Shirts

"Do you have anything that will help me to forget that I'm in a loveless marriage with a man who bores me... preferably with a hint of vanilla."

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Ice Cream Surgeon

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Redhead

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

Volcaniax

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

I love my cape

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"I love the popping sounds on old vinyl LPs..."

Master of the Universe meets the sugar plumb fairies

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

Iceland volcano

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

'My head's in the shop, this is just a loaner.'

"The last vampire who lived in it spared no expense on upgrades. Especially when it comes to the latest technology."

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

"How was the cocktail, Sir, enough vodka?"

Chaos

"I graduated magma cum laude."

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

"He's got to have his morning coffee. We call him Java Man."

Carpe Noctem - Seize the Night