Vanilla Lover T-Shirts

"Do you have anything that will help me to forget that I'm in a loveless marriage with a man who bores me... preferably with a hint of vanilla."

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Ice Cream Surgeon

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Redhead

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

Volcaniax

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

I love my cape

It's Whitney Houston....We have a problem!

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"I love the popping sounds on old vinyl LPs..."

"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Master of the Universe meets the sugar plumb fairies

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

Iceland volcano

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"The last vampire who lived in it spared no expense on upgrades. Especially when it comes to the latest technology."

'My head's in the shop, this is just a loaner.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Chaos

"I graduated magma cum laude."

"He's got to have his morning coffee. We call him Java Man."

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

Carpe Noctem - Seize the Night

"How was the cocktail, Sir, enough vodka?"

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow