Vampire Fitness Fans Gifts

Vampire Sit ups

In the Guru District

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Well, well, well...'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Muscles

Turn, turn and turn.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

'... And this is my cellar.'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Yearbook

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

A vampire in a canoe.

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.