Value Validator Pillows

"I paid a bundle for it. I was hoping for a bigger bundle."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Motorherd

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Magic coat fixing problems while walking the dog.

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"He's sending an instant message."

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

And if you press that one, somebody will come in and tell you what a great job you're doing.

"Any plaudits for me while I was out, Miss Jenkins?"

Woman standing behind boss with sign saying 'Applause'.

"Don't you have a snooze button?"

"I assume that's a 'not guilty' plea?"

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

Parking validation

"Mom, please take her and teach her morals, manners, and chores."

GOLDEN RULE: 'High moral fiber cereal,'

God Bless America/Godless America

"I am a failure...nobody comments on my blog."

Campus. F. You wrote "As air cools, water condenses and droplets form" in your paper for civics clss? I mistakenly Googled "Dew process" when I was writing it.

"But mom, how do I know I'm having a great time if I don't get some jealous comments on Facebook?"

"Before announcing our verdict, we'd like to test it on a focus group."

"Sometimes I find myself going to a notary public just for the acknowledgement."

"So if you go on vacation and no one knows about it, did you really go on vacation?"

'Lots of people never had hurricanes named after them.'

Christmas Cows

'If you need any advice or guidance feel free to ask me, I've got a qualification!'

"Love, compassion, forgiveness- those are very christian values" "For all we know I might have been a christain in a previous life"

Ashley the Approval Seeker

Having Forgotten How It Goes...

Approval Heaven

"Hold on. Let me just check my self-worth."

'Ball! Ball, Boy! Go get the ball!'

"Of course, it's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

'No, I wouldn't advise you to put it into the auction. I'd advise you to put it in the bin.'