Valentine's Venerator Pillows

"I need a box of the gayest chocolate you've got."

My Dream Valentine

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

I don't need lobster and music and wine....

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

You made me love you.

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'I'm huggable!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"I wonder what this was for."

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

"Are bringing your new girlfriend to the office party?"

'Love is a Drug'.

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

'Well, you're not blind, but have you ever considered laser eye surgery?'

Valentine's Day

Valentine for Guru.

"It's inhabited and they appear to be friendly."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

Valentines for Real Estate

Cupid Shoots at Open Heart Surgery.

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

Especially for YOU! - Free Valentine hugs.

You had me at 'BLLLLUUUURRRPPPP!'

Myopic Cupid

"His reputation as a tough guy was dented when his Valentine called him ‘cuddle bottom’."

Man in crowd with heart shaped hat.

Looks like no Valentine for Phil this year...

'Keep it simple, cupid!'

Valentines

"That reminds me...Happy valentine."

"The bad news is, you've been charged with assault with a deadly weapon. The good news is, your victim has obtained a marriage license."