Vain Intrigue T-Shirts

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'What a day! Caught between a Wiki leak and a document dump.'

"A Japanese company will deliver them to us for �6.75 a thousand."

'Our new assignment is to get Iran and North Korea to blow each other up.'

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

Trilby - 'Confession

I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."

"It's a plant based solution."

Look at what your verdict is doing to my complexion!

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

'You rang?'

'We only stay together for the sake of the Holy Roman Empire.'

UN agreements.

"I tell you, he's up to no good. He spends hours on the dark web."

"The U.S. should retaliate against the EU's Google fine and go after a dominant, European tech company... as soon as they have one."

In The Bastille

Violin

"Hey! You're those creepy twins from the glowing, the glinting, the shimmering, whatever... am I right?"

The casual selfie

Swell who has called a police officer to pick up his umbrella rather than bend and disturb his collar

"Did you find the captain's log?"

Putin Helps Tsipras hold Greece together

Tusk tusk

Dog Plastic Surgery.

'I'll show you my hidden agenda if you'll show me yours.'

"You're Russian? Where can I find one of your local honey pots?"

Erdogan Blocks Swedish and Finnish Attempts to Join Nato

'Even though I'm a shareholder, I really don't care what this company earns. I just love the intrigue.'

To discourage young thugs from smashing their pumpkins, the Buchanans filled them with live hornets.

Iran, Russia and Turkiye meets

Russian and US Conflict

Nothing puts me on edge like an inscrutable smile.