Vacation Comedy Enthusiast Pillows

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Dog Walking Services

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Skiing.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Intelligent people laugh too!

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Bad fake tan day.

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Fight or Flight

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."