Utility Wizard T-Shirts

"Fastball? Change up? OMG, I left my heater running?"

Sewage bill

The only time by business operated in the black was when the power was shut off for unpaid bills.

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

Tech support...can I help you!

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

Start the session by doing something unusual.

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

'Your father installed a security system.'

"I'd like you to consider some of our exciting career opportunities working for anyone else but me."

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

I got the raise

Manual Labor.

"I'd love to chat, Dave, but unless it's high-powered, high-quality, high-finance, high-tech chat, I just don't have the time."

'According to your resume, you have unusual organizational techniques.'

"So one day all our homes will be completely powered by rubbish. Just like that guy."

'We're not interested in how you work with people, just computers.'

Green Lamp Lighting Monument

"Goodbye, masked consultant. And thanks for reducing our inefficiencies."

"I don't know how to do fractions, but I do know how to build a computer that does them for me."

True Loves

"As you insist everything must be in triplicate, meet my new secretaries."

"And I can install the latest version of Microsoft as well as Word and 17 other applications!"