Utensil Underdog Pillows

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

Stop the big guy!

'At least you won't have to worry about the rising costs of a college education.'

Published but unread poet.

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

"He's Britains most eligible Spatula."

"Hopkins has missed the sales targets for the last time!"

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

"I brought a new can opener, but let's save the old one in case we ever need a broken can opener."

'I probably won't be asked to be the first brain donor.'

"I'm broke, I'm back...and I'm willing to discuss law school."

History exam marked as an 'Epic fail'.

Second, third and fourth effort!

Octopus

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

Higher education.

'It's the toxic learning environment.'

Undergraduate talking to college porter

Forklift truck

'Could you tell the court if you recognize this.'

Lockdown Day 45: "From now on we eat food that doesn't require utensils!"

"We should settle this in the kitchen."

"The swim team is really feeling those school budget cuts."

Resistance.