Username Enthusiast Prints

"Yes, you were born into the era of passwords and user-names. . . why do you ask, Mycat_2014?"

1001 Baby UserIDs

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Welcome to the Team

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Tom Cruise

'Lance, what does 'NSFW' stand for?'

Naming that Impala

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

Male On Sunday

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

What really became of the boy named Sue.

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

Mr Long and Miss Short.

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

Internet Name Tags.