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"In the spirit of compromise, Canada is willing to offer any state of the United States, sanctuary if they wish to secede."

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

Emigrating to France.

After purchasing a smartphone with advanced GPS, Mitch pinpoints his current location and realizes that within the past 25 years he had never really moved one inch in either direction.

"Our immigration lawyer is now living in Guatemala."

On today's Ask Sadie Radio Hour, we discuss one topic: the constant flirtation with fleeing to Canada. Canada has universal health insurance, far fewer killings, much less bigotry, more social mobility, better schools, less obesity, 50 weeks maternity leave, blah blah blah. But that means nothing, because you know what they don't have? Panicky media telling you who to blame for the sky falling! We'll be back, after this message from Depends Undergarments.

I wanted to holiday at home...But in Spain.

"Hard to believe that school's almost over."

Pension planning for Brexit

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'

'They gave me a choice...they would either off-shore my job, or I could keep my job if I moved to India.'

A Sudden Transfer To The Tokyo Office

Half French/half English.

English man in Australia during christmas

Somewhere In France...The Watsons have just discovered that English is not the universal language after all.

'You can't find a job?... Have you tried Asia?'

Somewhere in France: Reilly has become more French than the French themselves.

'You see! What did I tell you about this place?'

'I see that you're a fully integrated immigrant to this country.'

External Revenue Service

"This rush-rush life is getting old. Sometimes, I think about moving back to the land where I way born. What do you think, Baldo? What would you miss the most?"

"What's full English breakfast in Spanish?"

Big Name Foreign Rugby Players Are Going Home.

I"m living the American dream in Beijing.

Somewhere In France... The Louvre turns out to be just another metro station.

"I tell you what. If this country votes to remain in the E.U. I'll pack up and move to Spain... if I'm still allowed to."

"One semester in Paris and she's come back completely insufferable."

PERSONNEL, 'Our retirement plan is that we try to get you Swedish citizenship.'

"You'll find everything here, Comrade—your American passport, Social Security number, birth certificate, driver's license, and Diners' Club card."

Court House. A guy I wanted to call to testify about my client's character moved overseas. An expat witness!

'Originally Kartoffelkopf, but my grandfather changed it when he immigrated,'

Welcome to America

"I have a flat and need a lift."

"The worst part of the lockdown was that I lost 2 years of my U.S. visa."