Urban Livestock Enthusiast T-Shirts

Shepard and sheep on toop of sky scaper

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Chase me, chase me cows.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

Sick Rancher Humor

Cheesie Rider

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

Ranch Dressing

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

'Pork bellies are up...'

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

"I went through hell to get them adopted."

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'I don't know if she's gonna be much good. I don't think she's even registered.'

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."