Urban Jungle Enthusiast Gifts

"Boy, they really let their yard go."

'The old man's really serious about his rooftop gardening.'

"We call it, 'Green meadows' because that's what it was before we decided to build on it."

My tiny garden.

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

The Earth studying our cities with much interest

Holiday cottage

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

"Sold his air rights."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

"It's a letter from the council, about our window box."

Manhattan Woods

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

Reality Bites

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'