Uplift Seeker Gifts

"Gracie, can you make me soar?"

Muscles

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"We're exclusively delts."

Bench Press Accident

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

Welcome to Everest! No Loitering.

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Exercise Bars

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'C'mon, guys. That old geezer just leg pressed 400 pounds when he got up from the chair.'

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

Mountain climbers find a family picnicing on top of the mountain

Old Joe was determined to reach the summit as he'd left his false teeth up there last week!

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"Looks like someone found a warm spot."

"...And have we been working on our upper body or our lower body?"

'I think it's time to concentrate a little more on your upper body!'

Fishing

Macho man body building club.

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

Shrink

We can't go on meeting like this...

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Man on Stilts in a Market

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

"Any other strengths?"

"You're always so depressed, Tom."