Upgrade Optimist T-Shirts

"I've got some good news, you've been upgraded!"

That shows business confidence.

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

Six Thinking Hats

"I love your optimism."

Man feeding his computer money.

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

"I think I can". (train)

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

"I just think things will work out for the best, and by the best I mean me."

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

Highway of Life. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.

Pollyanna, the Hamster

"Today stocks rose on the news that 'down' is a temporary state of mind."

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

"Oh, don't mind us... We just want to make sure it's really dead."

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

Man replaces tank sign with deer sign

Flower growing from a bomb.

"Half-full. Those were the days."

"Look on the bright side, you never know what's round the corner."

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"