Unusual Garden Keeper Pillows

A sandworm eats a statue of Buddha

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Not here, Fred.'

Planting Bird Seed.

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Football fan

Clown watering his flowers.

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Pyramid Garden

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

Redneck Flowerpot

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

The Golfer Gardener

'Don't listen to anyone. I think you're beautiful...even if you are a weed.'

Desert Island

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

"Well, goodbye old friend. You were always there for me, obedient and loyal... The best husband I've ever had..."

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

Why is he always fooling around with plants? He wants to be a robotanist! (Published originally on August 26, 2015.)

'Man with birds nesting in hair.'