Unsubscribe Hero Pillows

"Another company thinks I might like to keep receiving their emails!"

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"He was a very good boy."

A Bloody Butcher

"The good news is the company said I could work from home. The bad news is they made me take all my paperwork with me."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'If he has a pulse, hire him!'

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"The Equal Opportunity people say I can't call you my sidekick any more. You're now my personal assistant."

"FISH ON"

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

'I started out as one of the good guys but I hated it.'

"They say registering online should take ten minutes to two days, depending on my computer skills."

Worm eats the fish.

'That's the problem with being homeschooled...On a snow day, I'm stuck IN class.'

Catwoman // Cat Lady

"Baldo, you deserve this raise. But please don't tell anybody what I'm paying you."

"... And you're absolutely certain that this isn't a mirage?"

"Honey, you're home."

'I race around town and rescue people who lock their keys in the car!'

How to Leave Website Comments

The Jew and Morris both begin to understand each other

Beer Keg Babies

"Very good, Gary: 'A hero is a celebrity who did something real.'"

"Honey! Come quick and bring containers. The zucchini are running wild."

'George is Jessica Ennis' biggest fan.'

"What a place! - Even the wings are plastic. . ."

"He downed a hole in one on the 17th, then proceeded to down a further 10 in the 19th hole. . . so where do you want him?!"

"Don't worry. In the movies the good guy might always in, but this is real life."

"A hole in one... very impressive..."