Unrealistic Expectation Appreciator Pillows

"All right now...hold still."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

"So...do you have a job now?"

"I don't see any mention of quicksand skills on your resume."

Freia and her golden apples

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

Gonna Suck

The edge on this blade gives a close shave. Guaranteed to last a lifetime.

A deceitful photographer shows his doctored photos to an editor trying to deceive him...

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

"I think I see it, guys!" "That's a rock." "Look! A dead snake." "Here's an old balloon... I think!" "World's smallest ball of twine."

Y2K Solutions Inc.

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel,but for my shotgun.'

'When I asked for a bottle of house red...'

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

"Forget the slipper, find me the owner of this glass bra!"

Noah's Ark Being Towed.

'You know, that Lenny is a real 'glass half empty' kind of guy...!'

'Whose idea was it to open an uphill skiing course?'

'I'm divorcing you...and I want custody of the squids.'

DOOM, 'I do love you, Arnie, but you're such a downer!'

"Oh what a beautiful morning!"

A snake with human legs.

Man looking very nervous in an inflatable boat with a porcupine.

The Chicken's Revenge.

Rhinoceros playing Bilboquet.

'We've turned down you loan application because we got together and we just don't think you like you'll last another week . . .'

A Crab Apple says 'My life stinks...I'm all bruised...I've got worms...'

'I can't wait to get this holiday of a lifetime over so I can get back to my banal existence.'

'Here comes Orwell again - Get ready for some more of his 'I told you so.''