Unplanned Vacation T-Shirts

'Well, Susan, if you're feeling horribly ill, by all means stay home from work. I'm curious, however, why my caller I.D. says you're calling from the Tiki Resort in Maui.'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"First class, or with children?"

Beach con-man.

Airlines

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"Who can we call?"

Travelogue

She left lots of photos out so the cat wouldn't miss her while she was away...

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'