Unorthodox Thinker Gifts

Chess bowling.

"We were out of embalming fluid so we stuffed your wife with wild rice."

They often made fun of Shinjo and his Samurai spoons, but not for long.

Failed Marketing Concepts: Books on Tope

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Cactus seats.

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

You are much more likely to think outside the box if it is broken.

"Things are looking up!"

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

A man wrapped in bath towel looks in closet where a bunch of identical men hang, each in a different suit.

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

"I beg to differ."

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"I didn't want this book to end, so I stopped reading it midway."

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

"Every once in a while he gets nostalgic for Woodstock."

The New Age Dentist.

"What if my bliss happens to be suing people?"

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'