University Swag Collector T-Shirts

"Yale mom. Yale grandpa. Yale estranged creepy uncle."

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

'My door is always open to all employees, but only until my air conditioner is repaired.'

"Psychiatric convention"

Count Von Moltke.

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

Post Office. Personnel. If we get the job, do we get a letter sweater?

The Artificial Intelligentsia

"Hey look! It's my old, school uniform"

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

Harvard Waiting List

Policeman charges tortoise for impersonation.

The university is naming a chair for me - in the lounge.

"Cool, what's it say?"

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

"You've got an unconditional offer from the University of West Lincs."

A Royal Navy Admiral

OK Corral.

Using a Snow Blower in Dorm Room.

'You're under arrest for being an accessory to a robbery!'

huntsman on horseback

'Immediate standing' at Hot Dog stall.

Hikers startled at caution sign

Unrecorded History

I Influence, Therefore, I Am an Influencer

Boys teasing a servant about his uniform

"This is where you end up when you had a humanities major in college....I should have gone with poli-sci!"

"Hold it, somebody here has spurs that go jingle jangle ka-clank!"

Do you like my new school uniform, Daddy?

"Why did I go in here!"

Soldier Pig

Allergy Clinic. Stop and Smell the Roses.