University Pundit Gifts

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Where does it all end up?

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

Obama Healthcare.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

The Jose Padilla Experience

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

How to make crocodiles cry. . .Living wage proposal.

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

Torturing the English Language

Backtrack! A game of Political Undoing