University Orientation Pillows

"I hope that this is just a riot of passage."

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Trust

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

Good Luck with your finals.

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Too big to fail

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Teacher and students.

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

Cover Design for Cambridge ABC (Student Magazine)

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

Scenes we'd most like to see...

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.