University Orientation T-Shirts

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"I hope that this is just a riot of passage."

'But I digress...'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Trust

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

Too big to fail

Good Luck with your finals.

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Teacher and students.

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

Cover Design for Cambridge ABC (Student Magazine)

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'