University Freshers' Week T-Shirts

Freshers' week societies - 'Debt', 'Poverty' and 'No Money'.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

Good Luck!

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"No, the Geo Metros, Hyundais, Rabbits, and Kias belong to faculty - the Alfa Romeos, BMWs, and Volvos belong to students."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'This part was tenure.'

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

Day one, post grad

Pull and all nighter...

"Be afraid to try new things!"