University Devotees T-Shirts

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Dialogue

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Now that we've invented language, let's talk about our relationship.

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

Teacher and students.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

Med School Mascots.

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

Books on running a successful school,

No room to hang his diploma.

Lars, do have that CD I lent you? It got stuck in the CD player. I think it's a herniated disc.

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

Turning with mathematical precision.

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

'And a second degree in Australian studies.'

Snowman outside library.

Graduation Creation of Adam

The Artificial Intelligentsia

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

"I'll be glad when this speech balloon strike is over...!"

The intellectual and the wise

Harvard Waiting List

The Dean of Physics Demonstrates the Basic Premise of Give and Take, And in Particular Take, To Professor Kott.