University Spirit Enthusiast T-Shirts

Putney Princesses.

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

Teacher and students.

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'I represent the Lilliput High School basketball team.'

"Sure, Mom's eager to get us back to school, but she could have stopped the car!"

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"It does seem like a school-approved activity."

Start of the school year

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'

Back to School.

School Open.

"Baldo, are you translating for Marco?"

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

The Dean of Physics Demonstrates the Basic Premise of Give and Take, And in Particular Take, To Professor Kott.

Pirate Schools

'..And remember, your success will be measured in how much you donate to the university's alumni fund.'