Universal Humorist T-Shirts

When Meteors Come Close to Earth.

Science fiction fans on other planets

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Football Chameleon

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"The Eggsorcist"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

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"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

Champagne at the hunt

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

'..and one for the pot.'

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

Time Travelers from the 21st Century.

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

Murphy bed...Murphy.

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'