Unique Foods Pillows

"We should never have started offering it potato chips!"

6 Brothers Falafel

Lockdown casserole

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

Spontaneous Kombucha

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

Cheese Secret

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

'It's an acquired taste!'

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

Roadkill Restaurant

Ready, Steady, genetically Modify.

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'

Get me a bottle of house white. I need to clean the stainless steel surfaces.

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

'If we could just add one more gene to make the skeptical customer trust us.'

'We thank you for giving us the ability to genetically alter, irradiate and microwave this wonderful food.'

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

"In all my years of teaching I've never seen pizza dough spun into a triangle!"

Endangered Entrees

'Head cheese? Swedish sausage? Limberger cheese? . . . Try Albania!'

'Exactly what is wrong with the pie? I'll have you know I paid a lot of money for that bush meat at the corner shop.'

'Great crisps.' 'Yes, they're old cornflakes and salt.'

Ceci n'est pas une tomato (This is not a tomato).