Unicorn Tamers Pillows

'Ok lads, this is no laughing matter...!'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

The Baby Walker

A midwife holding a baby

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Coping with a strong-willed child

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

Secretive Weigh In.

To do before Saturday...

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

Toys in the DVD Player.

Mum and the Sleepless Baby

Need an elevated state of mind too!

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Crying baby

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Parenting Business Deals

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Happy Tots Day Care.

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"